As Pleasant as a Root Canal

Irony is such an interesting thing! You can find it everywhere you look; you can even create it. In the most basic sense, irony occurs when one thing is said, but the opposite is meant. (such as the title to this post)  The following are examples of situational irony, which "describes a discrepancy between the expected result and actual results when enlivened by perverse appropriateness." From Wikipedia's article on irony.

"When John Hinckley attempted to assassinate Ronald Reagan, all of his shots initially missed the President; however, a bullet ricocheted off the bullet-proof Presidential limousine and struck Reagan in the chest. Thus, a vehicle made to protect the President from gunfire was partially responsible for his being shot.

"The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is a story whose plot revolves around irony. Dorothy travels to a wizard and fulfills his challenging demands to go home, before discovering she had the ability to go back home all the time. The Scarecrow longs for intelligence, only to discover he is already a genius, and the Tin Woodsman longs to be capable of love, only to discover he already has a heart. The Lion, who at first appears to be a whimpering coward, turns out to be bold and fearless. The people in Emerald City believed the Wizard to be a powerful deity, only to discover that he is a bumbling, eccentric old man."

And here is an image depicting irony, which also happens to be a pet peeve of mine.

If I could cook up my own life, I'd definitely add the spice of irony.

Fin De Siecle

Here's a poem that makes me laugh...

Fin De Siecle

( The End of the Cycle)

This life’s a hollow bubble,

Don’t you know?

Just a painted piece of twouble,

Don’t you know?

We come to earth to cwy,

We gwow oldeh and we sigh,

Oldeh still and then we die,

Don’t you know?

It is all a howwid mix,

Don’t you know?

Business, love, and politics,

Don’t you know?

Clubs and pawties, cliques and sets,

Fashions, follies, sins, wegwets,

Stwuggle, stwife and cigawettes.

Don’t you know?

And we wowwy through each day,

Don’t you know?

In a sort of, kind of way,

Don’t you know?

We are hungry, we are fed,

Some few things are done and said,

We are tired, we go to bed,

Don’t you know?

Business, oh, that’s beastly twade,

Don’t you know?

Something’s lost or something’s made,

Don’t you know?

And you wowwy, and you mope,

And you hang your highest hope

On the price, pe’haps of soap,

Don’t you know?

Politics! oh, just a lawk,

Don’t you know?

Just a nightmeah in the dawk,

Don’t you know?

You pe’spiah all day and night,

And afteh all the fight,

Why, pe’haps the w’ong man’s wight,

Don’t you know?

Society? Is dwess,

Don’t you know?

And a sou’ce of much distwess,

Don’t you know?

To determine what to weah,

When to go and likewise wheah

And how to pawt youah haih,

Don’t you know?

Love? Oh, yes. You meet some gi’l,

Don’t you know?

An’ you get in such a whi’l,

Don’t you know?

Then you kneel down on the floah

And imploah and adoah -

And it’s all a beastly boah,

Don’t you know?

So theah’s weally nothing in it,

Don’t you know?

And we live just for the minute,

Don’t you know?

For when you’ve seen and felt,

Dwank and eaten, heahd and smelt,

Why all the cawds are dealt,

Don’t you know?

You’ve one consciousness, that’s all,

Don’t you know?

And one stomach, and it’s small,

Don’t you know?

You can only weah one tie,

One eyeglass in youah eye,

And one coffin when you die.

Don’t you know?

Edmund Vance Cooke

Jogging My Memory

The weirdest thing happened to me a couple weeks ago. I was attempting to clean out the dishwasher while deep in thought about other things. I pulled two items from the dishwasher, wandered around, set one of them down on a counter, and then put the other one away. I was so lost in thought that after putting the one item away, I couldn't remember what item I had set down. I scanned the counter, but everything seemed more or less in place. Unless the canning jar by the stove wasn't supposed to be there. I tried to review my movements around the kitchen, but couldn't remember if I had actually set the jar by the stove. Finally, still quite unsure, I walked over and picked up the jar. Immediately, I knew that it was the other item I had had in my hand. Why? Because of the particular noise it made when my fingers ran over it's surface.

Isn't that weird? My mind was far away from my task, yet it stored that funny rubbing noise somewhere in my head. As soon as I heard that noise, my brain recognized it, and I realized that I had been carrying the jar around previously. But why did it take that noise to jog my memory? Why did my brain remember that noise in the first place? Why couldn't it have remembered visually or sensory clues?

Anyway, the moral of the story is... Either pay attention to your task and do it right, or else don't pay attention to your task and see what funny things happen.

One of Two Minds

Watch out! The following is a favourite subject of mine. I hope I won't bore you to tears...

Do you find yourself dreading large parties because they can be exhausting? Do you find it confusing that you don't seem to enjoy socializing like everyone else? Do you find yourself being overwhelmed by a task that others seem to think is simple? Do you often need time to organize your thoughts before you answer a question? If you answered yes to more than a couple of these, chances are you are not abnormal like you think; you're probably just an introvert. (Further down, I've posted a link that will help you decide)

Introversion and extroversion could be considered personalities, but really they describe the way our brains our wired. Introverts are happiest when by themselves, with well known friends, or in any restful setting. They recharge themselves mentally when they have time to rest and reflect. Extroverts, on the other hand, love socializing and adrenaline. They recharge when there is lots of excitement. While some people are extreme introverts and others are extreme extroverts, most people are somewhere in between, usually defaulting to one side or the other. Others, however, are very balanced, and can operate on both sides. As you grow older, you will slowly drift towards the middle of the scale.

Neither side is right or wrong. However, because introverts make up only 25% of the population, they often think something is wrong with them; the world they are in is geared towards extroverts.

If you know that you're an introvert, there is a way that you can function in this majority of opposites. The key is to understand how to recharge yourself. Maybe before you go out for the evening you can read a book, take a nap, do some easy tasks, or just simply sit and do nothing. This will give you extra energy, which you'll need, because being in a big group can be very draining!

Most importantly, you are not abnormal because you don't like to socialize like extroverts. Most likely, you can remember a time when you socialized with just a few friends and you had a complete blast. See if you can do that in large groups. Pick out another person that looks like a fish out of water, and try start a slow, relaxing discussion by tuning out all the people milling around. I think you'll be surprised.

Here's a website that will help you determine whether you are an introvert or not: Being an Introvert If you think you are an introvert or if you have a close friend who is an introvert, I suggest you read the book, The Introvert Advantage, available at Chapters. It'll really open your eyes!

The diversity in mankind is truly amazing!

Imagine!

The power of the word "imagine"... In seconds, you will be where no other person can follow. Oh, you can tell them of your journeys later on, but you will always be by yourself... and yet you'll never be alone.

Imagine sitting on millions of grains sand: hard yet soft. The noise of rushing, thundering water close at hand. A burning sun, whose hot embrace toasts your skin. A slight breeze fans your body, bringing the fresh smell of water...

See, I just led your imagination on the same path mine took. Pictures of beaches, palm trees, and waves probably sprang into your mind. You could feel the heat, hear the water, smell the air. You were beyond the reach of reality. Beyond reality, isn't that slightly terrifying, yet exciting?

Of all creatures of creation, we are the only ones that have the ability to imagine. We are special. Use your ability to your own good. Never lose your power of imagination!

From out our bourne of Time and Space

Please open this image larger by clicking on it.

Imagine yourself in this position, lying here for awhile and watching Earth spin by. You could watch the clouds and the beautiful blue as you'd never done before. Mind you, hang on to something or you might find yourself floating across the room!

On the other hand, think of the effort needed to obtain this position. A multi-year degree in one of the sciences and years of experience, or years of involvement in aviation and probably some time in the military. Only then would you begin to qualify. Through rigorous physical activity you would be sent, along with hours upon hours of training for your special part in a space mission. And then, in a few days or maybe months, it would be over. The exhilaration of a rocket liftoff, the weightlessness of space, and the reentry back into the world you were made for.

I've been reading about STS-107, better known as the Columbia disaster, where a damaged Space Shuttle orbiter broke apart during reentry, killing all seven astronauts. I was young, but I remember the incident distinctly. Now I look back and imagine the horror of being trapped in a burning spaceship, flying nineteen times faster than the speed of sound, 200,000 feet above the protection of earth. What a horribly helpless feeling...

And that brings me to another thought. In the unfathomable light years of discovered universe, through millions of galaxies holding billions of stars, there is only a single heavenly body that nurtures life. Its name is Earth, and at the moment, you're resting in her protective embrace.

Post title from "Crossing the Bar" by Alfred Tennyson

Joy from the Past

Imagine a time period when eating out was a novelty. A time period when a burger, some fries, and a pop would be the highlight of the month, even the year! Imagine a time period when you would float into a fast food parking lot with your family in a yacht-sized car, and, after parking, a waitress would come to your window and take your order. In a couple minutes, she would be back with your meal, and oh what a meal it would be! The shear deliciousness of that food! And joy of joys, maybe you were on a road trip to see far away places under the warm summer sun. After your meal, you would  head out into the great unknown to see great sights...

Such were my wanderings as we sat in A&W tonight and I gazed at photos of just such a time. 

Superlative Hand

A continuation of Deft Fingers with an excerpt by Dr. Brand...

     "Often I have stood before a group of medical students or surgeons to analyze the motion of one finger. I hold before them a dissected cadaver hand, almost obscene-looking when severed from the body and trailing strands of sinew. I announce that I will move the tip of the little finger. To do so, I must place the cadaver hand on a table and spend perhaps four minutes sorting through the intricate network of tendons and muscles. (To allow dexterity and slimness for actions such as piano playing, the finger has no muscles in itself; tendons transfer force from muscles in the forearm and palm.) Finally, when I have arranged at least a dozen muscles in the correct configuration and tension, with a delicate movement I can maneuver them so the little finger moves firmly without the proximal joints buckling...

     "In order to observe the types of artificial hand that scientist and engineers have developed through years of research and millions of dollars of technology, I have visited facilities that produce radioactive materials. With great pride scientists demonstrate their skilled machines that allow them to avoid exposure to radiation. By adjusting knobs and levers they can control and artificial hand whose wrist supinates and revolves. Recent models even possess an opposable thumb, and advanced feature reserved for primates in nature. Smiling like a proud father, the scientist wiggles the mechanical thumb for me.

     "I nod approvingly and compliment him on the wide range of activity the mechanical hand can perform. But he knows, as I do, that compared to a human thumb his atomic-age hand is clumsy and limited, even pathetic - a child's Play Doh sculpture compared to a Michelangelo masterpiece. A piano concert proves that."

     from Fearfully and Wonderfully Made, by Dr. Paul Brand and

     Philip Yancey