"Hey, how are doing?
"Fine, and you?"
"Pretty good."
Really.
It's a knee jerk reaction. Of course I'm fine, what else would I be? Everything is always "fine." There is no such thing as pain or sorrow or depression or confusion. Yeah, right. And nothing ever goes wrong, does it.
Have you ever told someone that your life is falling apart, or that you are depressed and you don't know why? Has anyone ever replied to you in that way? Why can't I look at things the way they really are and say things the way they really are?
Sometimes I'm scared of myself. I used to think I had a pretty good idea of who I was. Right now I have no idea. Sure, I know my personality and my interests, but why do I react this way, when everyone else seems to react a different way? Why do I say the things I do? Or more aptly, why don't I say the things I don't say? Lol. I really don't know, but I know Someone who does.
No, right now everything is not going perfectly. But I'm not worried. When I admit to a problem, God can work with it. When I admit I need help, I can accept help. Between God, the exquisite thoughts He sends, prayers, and friends, it is impossible to not succeed.
thank you
ReplyDeleteI like this... It will be ok. Thanx for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteI have felt this way too!!I'm so glad to know im not the only one lol:)
ReplyDeleteI wonder if when i try to anazlyze what kind of a person i am and who i REALLY am, I am just not leaving everything to God that i could be not worrying about? Cos when i am comfortable with myself, and accept who i am, who God has let me be through his making me a new person, I sometimes forget about having to know "why" all the time.
Thanks for the reality check:)
Carson, that stuff you wrote up there titled 'More Question Than Answers' I really like that...why do we hafta be so vague in general? Just let people know 'the real you' It's hard but I plan to strive for this~
ReplyDelete